Ha ha ha! that made me laugh... we have had the same experiences with camcorders. when my dad first had his camcorder he took it to a wedding and most of the time he forgot to turn it off when he was walking along so most of the filming (before it ran out) was taken of his "crotch". We dont film much now, we are hopeless... the first time we actually used one in Greece we had about 8 hrs of filming (Mike filmed everything dead and living, flowers etc. the lot!) and as we didnt know how to edit it thats how much was put on the videos... needless to say it takes a brave person to sit through that lot!
I am sure once you have mastered it you will really enjoy using it, but it does take some thinking to sort it out. Be brave, have a go!