Janice, sit down and make yourself comfortable as I want to tell you a story.
In 1984 I was in the office at work and this lovely IBM PC came in and I was smitten. I immediately new then that a computer was female. I couldn't get enough of her and I would often dream about having one at home. Over the next few years many more PC's came to work and they seemed to get even more beautiful. The drawing office had one that had two of the most amazing big screens you have ever seen and all the engineers would stare at them all day. You would have a problem if you became too adventurous and the PC would beep very loudly and tell you that input was inhibited.
I eventually got one at home and I was on it day and night. She was a lovely machine and even had a sound card that made the most amazing noises. But these did become monotonous after a while. I did try many more PC,s over the passing years and some were very fruity, Apricots, Apples and Blackberries and when you touched them their skins were micro soft.
But, I found I couldn't do without one and they became an obsession. There was one big problem though due to their requirement for monthly updates. If one was missed panic would set in. Some friends of ours missed an update and they ended up with a little netbook.
So Janice your problems are down to your PC being female. You will find more evidence here .....
• They can multi-task, but .............
• No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
• They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
• Beauty is only shell deep.
• When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
• Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
• Always turning simple statements into big productions.
• Smalltalk is important.
• You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
• They make you take the rubbish out to the recycling bin.
• The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to anyone else.
• Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
• As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
• The message "bad command or file name" is about as informative as "If you don't know what is wrong, then I'm not going to tell you."
• The computer needs the EXACT words from you
• You're spending 70% of your time trying to understand how it works.
• Anyway... you have to admit the fact once you've had one you wouldn't like to live without.
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